For Better or For Worse
by Terry Madowed
Marriage is one of the most important bonds two human
beings can make with each other. Universally, marriage is the joining
of a man and a woman, who promise to support and love each other for
the remainder of their lives. Generally, this promise is taken within
a spiritual context.
Good marriages are not hard work. and actually flow
quite smoothly. It is actually bad marriages that are a lot of hard
work. Good marriages become bad marriages when mistakes are made that
ruin the romantic love spouses once had for each other.
There are good marriages, and there are bad marriages.
While no marriage is perfect, good marriages are solid unions which
seem never to waver through life's ups and downs. Bad marriages, on
the other hand, are the kinds which crumble when the inevitable rocky
times come.
Typically, bad marriages started out good, but somewhere
along the way, the partners stopped meeting each other's needs, mistakes
were made, and sometimes, one or both partners even stopped loving
the other.
In circumstances such as these, it's difficult to
maintain a marriage. But with a willingness to work on the bond between
them, marital partners can heal the damage done to their union, learn
to correct their mistakes and give their partner what he or she needs
in order to be happy and fulfilled. Over time, the marriage can be
saved, and the hard times can once again ease.
In general, a potential marriage partner is someone
who meets your emotional needs, who gives you a sense of happiness
each time you're in his or her company. With time, a person such as
this can inspire the type of romantic love on which the majority of
marriages are based.
In the quest for someone with whom to share their
lives, men and women place a different level of importance on certain
things. Even in today's world, many men want a wife who is physically
attractive and sexually pleasing, someone who will admire them, share
their recreational interests and take care of their homes.
Women, on the other hand, place a higher importance
on financial and emotional elements. Many women seek men who are affectionate,
honest, open and fair, who are financially secure and will give them
the conversation and commitment they crave.
Some of the most frequent causes of conflict within
a relationship are the result of behavior choices on the part of one
or both partners. For example, a spouse that is demanding and controlling
creates an unhealthy dynamic and environment.
Disrespect, abuse, anger, and domestic violence are
all harbingers of pain and suffering into a relationship, resulting
in deterioration and ultimate death of love in a marriage, as well
as creating a whole Pandora's box of other evils.
Other causes of conflict include ignoring, slighting,
coldness, emotional withdrawal, dishonesty, and continuation of behavior
that is annoying to one of the spouses and the other spouse refusing
to change or alter their behavior.
A lot has been written regarding choice for a marriage
partner. One of the simplest and most effective ways is to listen
to your own heart. How do you feel around the other person?
Do you feel appreciated, cared for, protected, important,
secure, and loved? When you start to think about what you want and
how you want to be treated, you can create a relationship that embodies
that for yourself.
To put it in simple terms, answer these questions
when considering marriage. Do you and your partner care about fulfilling
each other's emotional needs? Do you avoid causing each other unhappiness
and protect each other's emotions?
Do you give each other attention and spend quality
time together? Can you be honest with each other about everything?
If so, you could have the makings of a lasting commitment.
Terry Madowed is the owner of Bliss Unions One Stop
shop for all marriage info. For questions or comments about this article,
please visit: http://www.funmarriage.com
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