Forbidden First Date Discussions
By Connie Scholl
"It happened again --
I went out on a date with someone new and I thought
we both
enjoyed the conversation and had a good time, but
he never called me again!
This kind of rejection really hurts.
I am just about ready to give up dating altogether
-it's just not worth pain".
Sound familiar?
While there are no hard and fast rules about what
to discuss on a first date, there are some topics that are better-off
avoided when meeting a potential partner for the first time. If previously
interested suitors seem to keep `losing your number' after that initial
date then you may want to consider steering clear of:
Bringing up other men
Don't talk about your ex-husband, your ex-boyfriend
or even your best male friend "Mike" who's like a brother
to you. Think about it. It's always a turn-off when men start telling
you about the other woman in their life. Keep the romantic potential
of the first date high by keeping other men out of the conversation
-period.
`Heavy' Issues
Hello? This is a date --not a therapy session! Keep
it light and save the intense conversations concerning medical problems,
childhood traumas, and financial issues for your doctor, therapist,
or financial advisor.
How Much You Hate Your Job
No matter how much your hate you job, don't go there.
Keep in mind that men will always find an upbeat and positive attitude
very attractive.
A Future Together
Sure it's great to talk about an exciting trip you
have planned with your girlfriends or the new car you're thinking
about buying, but leave the sly references to a shared future FOR
the future! Bringing up future dates, sharing your preference for
princess-cut over round, and what you'd like to name your first born
are all sure-fire ways to have your date squirming in his chair, choking
on his calamari and bolting for the door.
Politics and Religion
Sharing beliefs about a particular religion, or offering
your view on the Bush Administration could land you in an unwanted
heated discussion before you've finished your appetizer. Do yourself
and your date a favor by shelving the `emotionally charged' topics
for a future date.
Reminding Your Date How Wonderful You Are
Sometimes it pays to toot your own horn, but there's
no need to blow it on a date! Every time you start selling yourself
in a date situation, you become less appealing. Rather than seeking
approval and trying too hard to impress, take advantage of the fact
that men love a mysterious woman. It won't take long for him to figure
out you're a great catch!
So What's Left to Talk About?
Keep your end of the conversation geared toward subjects
that make you smile. Think pets, beloved travel destinations, favorite
musicians, or your love of athletics or entertaining for example.
And don't forget the best topic of all - HIM! Demonstrate your genuine
interest in finding out about him and truly listening to what he has
to say.
Final Pearls of Wisdom
Remember that all of the above topics are no-no's
for first dates only. Eventually, if things go well, you just may
find yourself in deep discussions about peace in the Middle East or
his family history of heart disease. But for the first date, keeping
things light, simple and fun is always the best way to get to date
numbers 2, 3 and beyond!
© 2005, lifeline coaching
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Connie Scholl is a personal coach and the chief
operating officer of Lifeline Coaching. (www.lifelinecoaching.com)
Connie helps professional and entrepreneurial women design their careers,
strengthen their relationships, and successfully run their businesses.
Prior to Lifeline Coaching, Connie founded Greenwich Muscular Therapy
Center, INC with less than $1000, turned it into a money making machine,
and then sold it for profit nine years later. Connie@lifelinecoaching.com
