Why Can’t She Have An Orgasm During Intercourse?
Online Sex Advice
From Dr. Andrew D. Atwood, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
www.HopefulSolutions.net
This material is presented for educational and informational
purposes only. No other claims are made. Always consult your health
care professional for specific personal care recommendations.
Why can’t she have an orgasm during intercourse?
This is a terrific question… absolutely terrific.
This question gets right at the heart of the matter;
only 40% of women report having orgasms during intercourse. Obviously,
something is amiss.
• The biological truth is that a woman’s
orgasm is centered in her clitoris, and her clitoris is centered about
2 to 3 cm above her vagina… and so, it is far from where his
penis enters. It has been suggested that intercourse (penis in the
vagina) is primarily for procreation of the species, while the entire
Vulva is for pleasure because all of the Vulva’s constituent
parts are connected to the clitoris. So, the first critical issue
is one of geography; the penis does not typically create enough clitoral
stimulation to bring a woman to orgasm.
• One must consider one’s arousal threshold,
as well as orgasmic threshold, when addressing the question of orgasm
during intercourse. If her arousal threshold is high, then it will
take some effort to arouse her. If her orgasmic threshold is high,
it will take some more effort to bring her to orgasm. It is fair to
assume that women take longer to be aroused, which means that men
have the time to enjoy the act of arousing. That is the way men have
to think about it – “I get to take my time and enjoy this!”
• Given that 75% of the men come after 2 minutes
of penetration, is it any wonder that women are frustrated and turned
off to sex? But, if a guy will go 21 minutes or longer, 92% of the
women can be aroused to the point of orgasm.
• Men generally don’t do a good job of
stimulating a woman’s clitoris. It is that simple. They think
that intercourse will do it, when it won’t. They think that
2 to 15 minutes is enough time and effort, and it isn’t. They
think that women become aroused in the same way, and at the same rate
as men, and they don’t.
• She isn’t having an orgasm because what
he is doing to bring her to orgasm isn’t working well. This
isn’t to say that some women have very real problems (in one
area or another) that literally prevents them from experiencing orgasmic
pleasure… but, more often than not the main issue is that both
have been fooled into thinking that orgasm through intercourse should
happen… and if it doesn’t it is because something is wrong
with her. After all, he got it off, didn’t he! Why shouldn’t
she? Wrong assumption.
The good news is that with good communication she
can tell him how to pleasure her, and if he works on his technique
for 21 minutes or longer, the probability is that she will have an
orgasm.
His technique should involve tongue, fingers, and
hands more than the penis. Got that! Make sure he comes second, so
that she knows she is in first place.
Dr. Atwood
Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage is the
BIG, 137 page eBook written by Dr. Atwood. The companion volume is
You Can Save Your Marriage. You can find both, and more, at www.HopefulSolutions.net.
Dr. Andrew D. Atwood, LMFT. 534 Fountain St. NE, Grand Rapids, MI
49503 - Voice 616.456.1178 - Email DrAtwood@HopefulSolutions.net.
©2002-2004 Save Your Marriage, PLC. All rights reserved.
Disclaimer: The material presented on these pages
if for your information only. It is not a substitute for professional
medical advice. It may not represent your true individual medical
situation. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health
problem or disease without consulting a qualified health care provider
in person. Please consult your health care provider in person if you
have any questions or concerns. Always use common sense and research
your own personal situation thoroughly.
