Relationship Tips

UNDERSTANDING MEN’S SIGNALS

August 17th, 2006

**** AND IDENTIFYING GOOD MEN FROM “UNAVAILABLE TOADS”…. ****

You’ve got to learn to understand and identify “EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE” men.

If a man doesn’t know what he wants, he generally doesn’t want what he’s got.

This may sound harsh, but it’s the truth of the situation. And even when it isn’t completely true, it’s a good rule to go by.

A good man who is the right person and wants to be with you will find his own way to his “Emotional Truth”.

If his truth is that he wants to be with you, or not be with you, you have to respect that.

But I see women do it all the time.

The guy will be sending all kinds of subtle (or even direct) signs that he’s not “available” or interested in something “serious”, but the woman ignores them and just pays attention to the fact that he likes being with her when they’re together.

In other words, she substitutes the physical connection, or even the occasional emotional connection, for the real relationship she wants to be in.

WRONG!

Men have a different “love equation” from women:

A strong connection does NOT necessarily equal any interest in a relationship.

That’s why it’s CRITICAL that women learn to read the signals that a man sends about where he’s at.

Because he’s surely not going to just lay it all out there for you.

I promise.

If he does, write me an email, tell me all about it, and give me his mailing address so I can send him his prize.

When a guy isn’t interested in a relationship, and he’s hdoing something like seeing other women, here’s what most women start doing that makes things go from bad to worse…

They start trying to “fix” things, and “fix” the guy.

And then comes the “convincing” behavior, trying to convince the man that they are the right one for him, and that because they have such a great connection, a loving “relationship” is the only right way to go.

I know, it sounds bizarre.

Why would a man have a great woman and a great connection with her that felt amazing when they were together, and not want a relationship?

I’ll get to that later…

The thing I’m worried about here for you is that in trying to get your guy back, you’re making these mistakes that are like “man-repellent”.

So I’ll say it again.

You can’t convince a man to want to be with you.

I don’t know the specifics surrounding your off-and-on with the ex, but it speaks volumes.

Especially when it’s combined with him not “knowing what he wants”.

This is CLASSIC man-speak for “I’m not emotionally available and I’m not ready for a real relationship”.

When he can’t get in touch with his feelings and isn’t open to exploring them, it’s a text-book case of unavailability.

I don’t mean that he can’t share feelings or some level of intimacy with you….

In fact, I’m sure he still likes to connect with you when things are easy-going and he’s not feeling “pressure” around you.

But your ex sharing his feelings with you can easily confuse you into thinking that he is potentially the right guy and ready for a long term relationship.

I’m sure you’ve seen this since you’ve been back and forth with him. But when a guy is unavailable, he has a fear of getting deeper into a relationship that he knows he’s not ready for.

In his own way he’s tried to tell you this several times.

Here’s what he’s saying:

Yes, I have “feelings” for you.

And no… that doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship with you and be faithful.

Take some time to think about the past with your ex, and then compare that to what will honestly make YOU happy, and what kind of relationship you want in your future.

If you’re honest about it with yourself, I don’t think he’ll fit well into that based on his actions and behavior.

Put more value on his actions, not his words.

Get back to the things that you enjoy, the places you like to go and avoid places or things you used to do or see with your ex.

Spend some time with your friends and give yourself the space you deserve.

The less you talk about your ex and this situation for now, the better off you’ll be.

And I think you’ll be amazed at the results.

First, I think you’ll just plain old feel better.

But even better than that, you’ll be breaking the old connection that you had with your “x”.

And as counterintuitive as it sounds, breaking out of your old connection is actually the thing that’s going to change the situation for you the most and help get you the results you want.

Right now, your convincing him and your wanting him back, even when he’s with another woman, is making you come off in all kinds of ways that men just don’t respond well to.

I know it seems like the best idea to keep trying to stay in touch with him and keep the connection alive.

But the truth is that you’re just keeping this same old situation alive by pumping your time and attention into it.

If instead, you step back and stop chasing him or trying to convince him you’re the right woman, you’ll have an opportunity to do something that can honestly be ATTRACTIVE to him-

You first leave a space that he’ll not recognize and not understand, which will first get him thinking about you and then wondering why you aren’t acting the way you used to.

Men love “new” things and curiousities.

Plus, you’ll also be able to give him the space he’s tried asking you for in his retarded emotioanally unavailable “man-speak”.

Something funny happens when a man gets the space he asked for-

If you do it in the right way, he’s forced to deal with himself and his own feelings to figure out that all the things he is worried about, afraid of, fearful of “committing to”, etc.

And being by himself, he’ll see that these things are really just in his own mind - and not bad things about YOU.

In other words - he won’t keep taking all the old “stuff” from the past that wasn’t working and keep identifying it with YOU.

But you’ve to go know the way to “re-wire” the connection once you’ve broken the old one.

And if you can do this, I guarantee he’ll come calling wondering about you.

In my ebook, “Catch Him And Keep Him”, I detail specific ways to communicate with men that will help you build that new connection.

There are several psychological and behavioral “keys” that will help to open a man up, and just as importantly, make him feel that electric kind of ATTRACTION for you.

I’m talking about the kind of attraction that gets a guy feeling, at a deep level, that he wants to be with you right now AND far into the future.

This goes for the “unavailable” guys too that seem to keep withdrawing and don’t communicate much about their feelings or what they want.

These guys are the toughest ones.

If there’s just ONE PIECE OF ADVICE that holds more power for women than any other when it comes to men, it’s this concept of only dating emotionally available men.

In my ebook, I also talk about how to identify good men from the “unavailable” ones.

If you’re dating, wouldn’t it be great to know what kind of guy you’re dealing with FROM THE START?

And if think you’re already got an unavailable guy on your hands, and you’re wondering what you can do after all the frustrating disappointments that have gone on…

There’s AN ENTIRE SECTION of the book dedicated to helping you both understand the emotional world of a man (yikes, right!) and how to lead him to a better way of being with and understanding you.

So make the choice to do something about your love- life and create the situation you want in your life.

Go check out my ebook now.

You can download it and be reading it in just a couple of minutes.

Check it out here:

10 Secrets About Men

And best of luck in life and love!

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

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